Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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