I think my vagina is haunted
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
