the new term for farting is butt boxing.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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