In the future we'll all be gay
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
