with your own penis?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
