it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
