Your face is a jimmy john
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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