He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
