why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
ok first of all what the fuck
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
