just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
