So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
