the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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