Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
