bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
