I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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