JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
