wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
