i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she looked like the before picture.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
