I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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