why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
