is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
