Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
