she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
