I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
