And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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