She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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