He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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