come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
