It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
