I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
