My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
