Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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