I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
