Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
