3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
