I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
