no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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