well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
