Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We have started to decorate penises.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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