There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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