Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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