You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
