I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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