I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
