I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
