if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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