I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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