So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
