ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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