Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
