Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
