I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
