I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
