Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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