Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Shame - the story of my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
