I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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