Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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