do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
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I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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