We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
