feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
