My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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