I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
