OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
