Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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