Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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