I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
