Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
