Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
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Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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