i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
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