Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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