Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't make out with my wife yet
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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