Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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